Good afternoon,
I have a great pain which I couldn’t yet overcome. In the last year I had a pregnancy, normal and ectopic at the same time, which I lost in a very sad way. I am heartbroken and I think this is making it harder for me to get pregnant again.
(Sent by Leslie)
Rita:
Dear Leslie,
Start by thinking that there is nothing wrong with feeling pain. Just as joy, pain is also part of being alive.
You have to remember that this child did come to this world, but for a very short period of time if seen by the eyes of those who are here. She came softly, tiptoeing, barely making any noise, but left a big mark. And what you need to see is that this is the way the spirit wanted and, for the spirit, the time dimension is different. This little spirit of light came to accomplish a mission and then it went away, and this time frame that seems so brief when looking from this plan, was all that it needed.
However, this was enough to make you a mother and nobody can take it from your soul. You did a great job, you did the best that you could e, now, your baby is resting in the Divine Mother’s arms.
And, if all this caused you so much pain, it is because your spirit wanted to experience this feeling as a way of transforming itself and evolving. That’s why, you cannot fight against this pain or think of it as an obstacle for a new pregnancy. The fight and the resistance against the pain are the obstacles, not the pain itself.
The pain appeared in your life to be embraced and lived totally. Be like the grass that allows itself to be stepped on, or like the grains of food that allow themselves to be boiled. Then, at some point, you will ask Existence why you are being so crushed and if she is not yet done making crumbs out of you. And then she will answer the same thing that she answered to the boiling grain who had made her the same question: “You have been living as a plant up to this moment, now it is time for you to transcend it to a new phase, which is to become food and nourish those who need it.” And to this, the grain answered: “It is fine then, I want to be prepared as food, I want to transform myself, I don’t want to remain forever a plant.”
Similarly, you must see the pain of the loss as this process, which is painful, but it is a process that is taking you to become a new being, different than who you were. You are not the same person anymore. Now, you are capable of looking at everything you went and still are going through, not with revolt, but with compassion. Search in your soul the feeling of compassion towards yourself and towards what life brought to you. One day, all the sad memories will have vanished, and only the love and the transformation will stay. Those, are the only ones that will stay in you for always.
Allow yourself to cry and mourn. Tears exist to clean the soul and they are part of this process your spirit wished to go through. There will come a point when you will feel that you and the pain have become one, and the feeling will be indescribable because you won’t have overcame the pain, but you will have transformed it.
Remember, it is easier for the Sun to swap places with the Moon than for you not to get pregnant once again and have the healthy baby you so much long for. The same little spirit that came and went away last time, will come back in the right moment. He already chose you as his mother and wants to be with you. Next time he will come to stay.
In the meanwhile, try to live this experience in the most total way. And, as soon as your body and your spirit are ready, zas, you will see the miracle of life!
With love,
Rita Cascia
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