How can I be stress free?

Question:

How can I be stress free?

(Sent by Tiara)

Rita:

Dear Tiara,

You will be stress free the day you realize and truly surrender in your heart that you are never in control and that all you can do is to live the present.

Stress commonly arises from the desire of never losing control of life. And what happens is that, if you want so much to be in control, you will start having the illusion that you are in control of something. And life will prove to you that this is just an illusion by giving you situations where you will be out of control. So you start fearing that feeling of being out of control again and this is the stress.

The more you want to be in control, the more you will realize how little control you have in your life. But if there is one thing you can control is your mind when it comes to choosing to be in the present, enjoying the moment. At any time, your mind can start wandering in the future or in the past. And you can be certain that all these thoughts are going to make you stressed at some point.

So, what you have to practice at this moment, is the awareness of returning to your center and remembering that you are not in control of the past or of the future. However, you are able to choose what to do with the now and what to concentrate your mind on. You can choose to enjoy whatever small sensations are going around you at that moment. You can look up, and you will see the sky. Maybe you are walking and there is a gentle and fresh breeze blowing on your hair and you are not aware of that. Maybe birds are singing and you are not listening. That is because the brain is blocking all these sensations to concentrate on stressful thoughts.

It is very common to believe that if you don’t keep thinking of a certain problem over and over, conjecturing, or trying to figure out what you will do when the time comes, or what you will say, things won’t be solved. However, that is not right. This will only make you more stressed and the problems won’t still be solved.

Instead of that, you have first to concentrate on the present, take a deep breath through your abdomen and keep breathing this way for as long as possible. And then, bring to your heart the thought that Existence loves you and it wants to give you all the answers and everything you need. You have to, in your heart, let go whatever that is, and then trust that Existence will provide you what you need and all you have to do is to sink your whole being in that feeling.    

And this feeling of trust, when experienced fully, is the actual healing for the stress. You can take therapies or massages, and all these will only be effective if their end is to make you trust more, let go more and surrender more.

Every time you feel stressed again, think of this sentence and say it to yourself: “Well, all I can do is to enjoy the present.” Make it a habit to tell that to yourself. And then, after you say it, open the eyes of your consciousness, and you will be amazed at the amount of things around you that you were missing. It will feel like waking up from a deep sleep.

And when you are worried about a future event in specific, just think: “About this, I will let Existence surprise me.” Allow Existence to surprise you. But don’t think of it expecting the worse. You have to believe that out of all possible outcomes that are available for you in this time and space, Existence will pick the best one for you. And it will always be a surprise, because remember, you are not in control. Search within yourself the feeling of excitement of a child who is expecting a gift and doesn’t know what it is.

When you are enthralled about the future, even if you don’t know exactly what it is going to be, you project this feeling into others and therefore into the situations, so the future will be just as wonderful as you are expecting it to be.

Love,

Rita Cascia

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