My jealousy is ruining my relationship.

Question:

My boyfrien and I are fighting a lot, as I am very jealous and sometimes I can’t control my attitudes, and this is harming him and myself. I know he loves me very much, he already gave me many proofs and I also love him a lot. We have been dating for 3 years and we have already bought our furniture and we are even constructing, but the arguments are excessive, if it is not about me, it’s about him and vice versa. I wish I could leave him alone for a little bit. I worry too much about him, call him a lot, etc... I don’t know what I should do. He has even mentioned breaking up with me, what do I do?

(Sent by Nayane)

Rita:

Dear Nayane,

In the Existence everything happens according to what you expect and to what you don’t expect. That’s because for Her both mean the same. Existence only allows what you idealize, what you create, everything that is. Thus, the not something is the same as something.

What you don’t expect is what you expect in some level of your consciousness, because you are creating it, with or without the word no in front of it. Remember, the idea of the no exists only in the mind of the human being.

Applying this perception to your case, you will observe what follows: your attitudes are a reflection of your fears. You dread your boyfriend becomes interested in another person, stop liking you, hurt you in any way. So, unconsciously, that is what you expect to happen.

When someone feels fear, they use only a small part of the brain. They use only the portion that worries about what can go wrong, that is why they can’t contemplate all the solutions that are around. That said, the affirmation that the fear is unconsciousness has literal meaning.

If you create an obsession about what you don’t want to happen, you are directing all your energies to this part of the brain exclusively. You are forgetting to wide your vision about everything that you want to see happening and about what can go right.

All the time you are focused in fear and obsession, you will be entering the frequency of all the facts you don’t want to undergo, which are, betrayal, rupture, sadness and pain. You are automatically visualizing yourself living these situations. Your are creating something in the world of the ideas and, all that is in the world of the ideas has potential to become real.

And, if this concept has to be put in a less abstract manner for you to comprehend it, look again from far at your own situation: you are very afraid that your boyfriend leaves you for someone else, so you start acting in a controlling way. However, this makes the coexistence harder for the couple, what you already know. And it is for this reason that your boyfriend will want to split or to be interested in another person.

You attracted this for yourself for being in the same vibration of feelings brought by separation episodes, but also, put in a more concret way, your own attitudes generated by fear contributed to such event.

But the good new is that Existence is generous. She is an incessant flow of chances and more chances to restart, to shift your view towards life and, consequently, shift your life.

You can, right now, quit sketching in your mind what can come out the way you don’t want to. You can decide to believe in love; you can decide to trust in the Existence and you can decide to thank Existence for everything She has already brought to you and for everything that is still to come.

All these decisions will yield good results, because they will put you in the frequency of what you really want and deserve. And, if you want to concentrate in just one of them, concentrate in deciding to trust in the Existence.

When you trust in the Existence, all your fears are vanished. Because you know that whatever happens, it will be a blessing. You are sure that Existence is carrying you on the palms of Her hands, so there is nothing to fear.

Everything that happens will be a reason to thank and will bring something that will make it have been worth, as everything is heading to a higher purpose, which is the evolution of the soul and its transformation.

Therefore, visualize your being in the state of joy, sharing love with whom you love. And when a negative thought arises, declare to yourself that you have given up fighting, that you are already tired of resisting and that now all you want is to surrender and to give up yourself totally to the simple flow of the Existence.

With love,

Rita Cascia

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